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I am a passionate 32 year old Cuban-American family man who dreams of writing novels for a living.

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Thank you for taking the time to read my profile. ***IMPORTANT*** - I have a sample of my writing below!! I'm afraid I don't have money or anything fancy to offer you at this stage of my life. What I do have are manuscripts, a love and understanding of storytelling, and a fire in my belly that will stop at nothing until I am a published author. If anyone out there has it in their heart to help, I cannot begin to tell you how much it would mean to me. Thank you again, Jay Comas [email protected] Here is the first chapter of a manuscript I will be querying in 2023. It is a young adult fantasy novel called, Vivian Thorne and the Diamond Veil. I hope you enjoy it! VIVIAN THORNE AND THE DIAMOND VEIL CHAPTER 1—A DAY OF NIGHT Everyone in West Port knew the legend of Vivian Thorne, the one-eyed teenager who both came and went without a trace. The urban tale passed on by word of mouth from generation to generation, giving way to countless renditions of her final days. If you wandered around the coastal town, you could still hear the residents debating over their wild conspiracy theories. These theories varied from alien abductions to kidnappings, with some suggesting that the government secretly probed Vivian’s body for scientific research. Every storyteller swore by their so-called firsthand accounts, but none of them held an ounce of credibility. Only one true tale existed, and it began on a sunny day with blue skies. *** Saturday morning seemed ideal for a walk in the park. The coastal town came alive during Labor Day weekend, and Vivian Thorne did not have to worry about class for days to come. Her spirits soared despite the brutal weather, as she knew the tourists could not stand the heat for long. Beside her trotted her best friend and faithful companion, Jack, a German Shepherd known locally as the largest dog in town. Few in the community dared to go near the beast, which Vivian frequently used to her advantage. Once the two of them made it past the brick towers of West Port High, they used the crosswalk on Maple Road to reach Main Street. Vivian sniffed the sweet aroma of pancakes emitting from the distant row of diners, where the seated patrons typically annoyed the locals by crowding the sidewalk with their luggage and mindless banter. “Another day in paradise,” thought Vivian, brushing aside her peek-a-bangs hairstyle, “Yikes…I put off a haircut for way too long this time.” Her light brown locks grew so thick over the summer that they now rivaled her French neighbor’s mop for bushiest hair in town. Having an eyepatch already gave Vivian plenty of attention, she did not need her hair competing with Madame Berne’s. She made a mental note to visit the salon later before directing Jack around the first maze of dining chairs. The two of them made quite the pair walking down Main Street: the one-eyed outcast aside the imposing canine. Vivian could already feel the tourists watching their every step, and she hated their prolonged staring. Her adoptive mother, Ruth Jennings, always told her that it’s considered rude to stare, and in Vivian’s experience, most people succumbed to rude tendencies. Most of the time people just gaped at her blankly, but on occasion, audacious folks would come up and ask, “Hey, girl, what happened to your eye?” As it turned out, Vivian did not know how she received her handicap either, or much else about her background for that matter. She only knew one thing for certain: she’s had this leather eyepatch for as long as she could remember. Her massive bangs covered most of it, but her olive skin still gave the fine people of West Port plenty to gossip about. She could practically hear Ms. Jennings’ raspy voice now, “Be proud, Viv—be proud that you’re unique!” but Vivian just wanted to look like everyone else. She turned her attention back to Jack. “Smell anything interesting, boy?” The shepherd replied with a bark and nudged his head into his master, slobbering all over her tank top and blue jeans in the process. Vivian stopped to wipe off her old Converses. “Oh, you want to wrestle, huh?” she teased, “Just wait until we get to the park, boy!” Step by step, the two companions passed Main Street and carried on to their favorite park, Whisperwood. For Vivian, every trip back to Whisperwood came with no shortage of nostalgia. Her fated discovery took place there five years ago, next to the West Port Waterfall. The whole ordeal took quite the toll on her. A lack of identity led to bouts with depression, insomnia, weight issues that seemed to fluctuate with the seasons, and too many traumatizing social interactions to even count. Ever since that fateful day by the river, she has wondered who she is and where she came from. The same questions plagued her thoughts. “Why would someone leave me there? And why Whisperwood?” Something inside of her tempered the pain: the hope that someday someone would come along and explain her mysterious origins. That hope kept her alive. “One day it’ll happen,” she promised herself. *** When they reached the park entrance at last, Jack immediately darted off towards the hiking trails. He loved to take the lead. “Don’t go too far, boy!” Vivian called out. She noticed the parking lot looked empty. No cars. No bikes. They might actually have the place all to themselves, or so she thought— “Hey, Thorn-eye!” called a booming voice. Vivian turned around and saw a familiar face. “Henry Fossil...” After just two weeks of high school, Vivian already managed to attract a few admirers. Typically, her so-called admirers bombarded her with one-eyed pirate and cyclops jokes, but Henry Fossil’s interest in her went well past the norm. The high school freshman held a kid up by his underwear with one arm and waved to Vivian with the other. He sported a greasy man-bun with fire-red hair, and he somehow managed to grow a unibrow since their last encounter. “Enjoying your weekend, Thorn-eye? ‘Ya know, tonight would be a perfect for us to go on a date, don’t you think? Oh, how rude of me. Have you met my friend, Ralph?” Henry dangled the boy higher. Vivian frowned. Some delusional boys in West Port still believed they attracted girls by bullying and showcasing their bravado. “I’ve had enough of this crap,” thought Vivian. She stood tall. “Don’t you get tired of failing ninth grade, Henry? I heard that this is your third go around. What’s wrong, dumbass? No one taught you how to read?” Henry dropped Ralph, who promptly took off whimpering. The bully towered over Vivian. “You’ve got guts for a thirteen-year-old. I’ll give you that, Thorn-eye. But that’s it. You and I—we’re going on that date tonight—whether you like it or not.” Vivian heard Jack panting behind her. She grinned at the bully. “What are you smirking at?” Henry scowled. “For the record, Henry, I’ll be 14 soon—Oh, how rude of me. Have you met my dog, Jack?” Vivian stepped aside and the German Shepherd pounced on Henry, knocking him clean off his feet. “Take it easy on him, Jack,” Vivian commanded. Jack hopped off Henry in an instant, and the bully covered himself as he squealed like a pig. “He’s off of you now, Henry,” Vivian chuckled. “Jack’s over here now.” Henry’s red face appeared from behind his hands. “Nice, doggy. Good...doggy...” Jack maintained eye contact with Henry until he rose full height. The shepherd barked once more for good measure, sending the bully away cowering. “No way…” Vivian whistled as she watched him stumble out of the parking lot. “Is it my lucky day or what?” Jack answered with a snarl. “Hey, I haven’t forgotten about you. I know! You scared him! Good boy! Are you ready for the park now?” The dog barked in delight, and Vivian opened her backpack to look for Jack’s leash. *** Vivian could not believe what just happened. Of all people, Henry Fossil managed to brighten her day. She tightened the snap-hook on Jack’s collar and rubbed him behind the ears, and she started to believe that this really could be her lucky day. Unbeknownst to her, her luck would end there. The moment she reached the trails of Whisperwood, Vivian noticed something bizarre. The birds stopped chirping, and gray mist started emitting from the soil, swallowing the park and greenery around her. A second later, the light of day vanished along with the sun. The park turned pitch-black. “What in the world?” Vivian grabbed her backpack and fished out her flashlight. “Impossible. One second, it's the afternoon, the next it's dark outside? What is this, the shortest day in history?” In her bewilderment Vivian forgot about Jack, who proceeded to bark and thrash about wildly. Then without warning, the shepherd bolted into a dead sprint, yanking Vivian forward and nearly toppling her over in the process. “Whoa!” Tugged against her will through the woods, Vivian gripped Jack’s leash with one hand and tried to steady the flashlight with the other. She dug her heels into the ground and tried to grab a tree for leverage, but she could not stop Jack’s momentum. “Jack, stop! Stop!” The teen’s yells did little good. She nearly collided with a cluster of stumps before Jack finally came to a halt. Vivian took a moment to catch her breath before directing the flashlight towards her companion. He barked and squatted next to a particularly large boulder, nestled between two pine trees. “What’s wrong with you, boy?” Jack pointed his nose at the boulder. “Yeah…so what?” Vivian shrugged. “What’s wrong with you?” The shepherd pointed again, this time with his tail locked upwards. “Fine, fine! Let’s look.” A quick search around the boulder revealed nothing out of the ordinary. Vivian tried to collect her thoughts only to recognize the faint sound of running water. Shining her flashlight toward the noise, she noted a waterfall fewer than twenty yards away. Not just any waterfall. The West Port Waterfall. The same waterfall where she mysteriously appeared five years ago. “Why would Jack bring me here?” Before she could search any further, an inferno of a bright green substance shot through the shadow of water. Vivian jumped. The firehose-like projection came so vast and intense that she could feel the heat from the element stinging her face. Everything the green substance touched hissed like acid and quickly whittled away, bringing down dozens of small trees and bushes in a matter of seconds. The substance left a glowing residue on the soil that trickled through the roots, illuminating the forest floor with a fluorescent pale-green spotlight. Vivian stood speechless, taking in the spectacle before her. She could clearly see the waterfall and the river’s mouth at its base, but she failed to locate the source of the acid inferno. She contemplated running, but her curiosity got the better of her. She put her flashlight away and gave a light whistle for Jack before sheltering behind the boulder. “Remain still, and be silent,” said a nearby voice. Startled, Vivian looked over her shoulder to find another surprise. In Jack’s place stood a clean-shaven stranger with shaggy, peppered black hair hanging down to his shoulders. Baggy robes and pants hid his lean frame, along with a white vest and knee-high black boots. Vivian’s brow lowered. “Who are you?” she asked. “No time for that now,” the stranger replied. “You must trust me. Duck down behind this boulder as you were. Quickly!” “What!?” Vivian snapped. She took a step back and shook her head. What is wrong with this guy… “I promise I will explain myself in due time,” the stranger continued, “but you must hide now. Please, I beg of— Another green inferno blasted through the waterfall. That made Vivian hide. Silence fell, other than the hissing vegetation, and then— GROWL! A piercing snarl echoed through the woods. Vivian peeked over the boulder and spotted what she could only describe as a six-legged monster making its way through the falling water, shaking the ground with each step it took. The way that it emerged defied the laws of physics, for this massive abomination could not possibly fit through that waterfall. As the monster progressed, the water swirling around it transformed into a curtain that sparkled like diamonds, blanketing the creature like a crystal veil. The veil stretched wider and wider until it looped back into its base. Vivian gawked in horror and tried to keep her breath down. The creature looked like a mutated scorpion to her, but with one giant eyeball mounted on its head. Metallic scales covered its long and slithering frame, and a mouth full of sharp teeth protruded just below its eye, scanning over its large claws and stinger tail gripping into the river bottom. “What the hell is that?” thought Vivian. She ducked just as the monster’s giant eyeball shifted towards the boulder. Too late. The monster stood up high on its back two legs and revealed the source of its destruction: a second mouth hidden on its underbelly, full of green fluid and ready to explode. In an instant, the acid blasted out of the creature’s mouth and shot around the edges of the boulder. Vivian covered herself as the substance hissed around the hunk of rock. “Stay where you are,” urged the stranger. “I will handle the beast. Make haste while I divert its attention. Do you understand?” Vivian looked at the man sideways, still shaking from the blast. “Are you joking?” The stranger did not reply, but instead jumped on the bare area of the boulder and glared at the monster before stretching out his arms. “Have at me, beast!” Only then did Vivian notice the sword strapped across the stranger’s back. The jagged blade pulsed with a bright purple glow. The man unstrapped his weapon and jumped off the boulder towards the monster, and the beast answered his challenge by spitting out another acid inferno from its belly. But just when Vivian thought the acid would engulf the stranger, a blue cube formed around him. The green substance smothered the area where the man stood, yet he remained unharmed. Vivian shook her head. “Impossible…” When the acid died down, the stranger leapt into the air like a cat and climbed onto one of the monster’s giant claws. The beast trounced around and tried to stab at his opponent with its other free limbs, but the man kept his balance and launched himself yet again, this time jumping high enough to slash the scorpion’s eye with his blade before landing behind its head. ROAR! An agonizing howl filled the air, so high-pitched that Vivian covered her ears. The newly blinded monster responded by whipping its stinger-tail towards the stranger, but it failed to strike anything but the wind as the man slid off the creature’s back. Once he touched the ground, the warrior rolled forward and sprang back to his feet. “Come, beast!” he said, “Follow me to the shadows!” He darted away without another word and disappeared into a brush of palmetto. The blinded creature growled at its fleeing prey before rising again on its back legs. Vivian peaked over the hissing boulder to watch. Instead of blasting more acid through the forest like she expected, the monster’s second mouth retreated behind a layer of skin along with the damaged eye on its head. In an instant, the scorpion grew a new eye and let out a proud roar. It sensed that the warrior stopped moving, leaving it no time to waste. The creature poised itself again and suddenly a web of rods began to magically sprout from its spine. At first Vivian thought it formed new limbs like a tree, but then it grew the finishing touches of flesh which draped over its entire frame. The monster’s wingspan could block out the moon. Vivian’s eyes widened. “It can fly!?” The creature began to flap its wings, sending waves of tropical storm winds around the forest. Then it lowered its center of gravity like a predator preparing to pounce and launched itself into the air with a loud swoosh. Within seconds it flew over the pines and vanished. Vivian found it difficult to move at first, but she remembered what the stranger said before, “Make haste.” She turned her flashlight back on. “I have to get out of here…But what about, Jack? Where did he go?” As soon as she made it out of Whisperwood and onto the sidewalk, Vivian picked up her pace to a jog. She passed through a mile of darkness, using the glow from Main Street as a compass. Dozens of people huddled inside the shops there, harboring under the safety of electricity. Beyond the lights Vivian could hear lost stragglers yelling frantically: “Where’s the sun?” “I can’t see anything!” “What’s happening?” She covered her ears. “No way this is real. I just need to wake up from this nightmare…Ruth will have an explanation for all of this—she always does. But the old lady won’t be back for three more days…” A sudden spike of adrenaline pushed her to sprint the rest of the way home. *** Vivian took a deep breath on the front porch and tried to compose herself. The trip back only seemed to stress her out more. Even with her flashlight on, navigating to Ruth’s house proved difficult. She pulled out the keys from her pocket and went to open the front door. “Miss Vivian, is that you?” called a soft voice from her left. Madame Berne wore her customary pink bathrobe and red lip stick. Vivian knew the lady could easily use electricity, but such things did not feel elegant enough for this French dame. She held an old-fashioned candlestick in one hand, with a freshly polished ivory handle. “Yes, Madame Berne,” Vivian said. She tried not to focus on how the lady’s hair dwarfed the size of her head. “My word, child,” Madame Berne responded, “What on earth are you up to? Why are you stalking about at this late hour?” “It’s not nighttime Madame Berne. It’s not even four yet. Check your clock.” “Are you on drugs, young lady? I will have a word with Ruth about this.” “Ugh,” Vivian shook her head. She knew that pushing the old lady further would only lead to more trouble. Her mental state only seemed to worsen over time. “I’m not on drugs, Madame Berne…Sorry, but I have to go now. Have a good day—I mean night.” Vivian turned away in a hurry and opened the door. Just one step inside and she dropped her head. “Jack’s not here…” The dog always greeted her at the door without fail. She turned on the lights and walked straight into the bathroom. She threw water on her face and gave herself a few slaps for good measure, but try as she might, she could not get herself to wake up from the crazy dream. Amid the darkness, the monster, the warrior, and Jack being gone, getting a good night’s sleep seemed rather irrelevant. Instead, Vivian went upstairs and sat by her window, waiting through the night for Jack to run up the driveway. After five straight hours of disappointment, exhaustion prevailed at last. *** When Vivian woke the next morning, she immediately checked her window again to no avail. She tried calling out to Jack through the window next, until her voice faded and cracked. “This can’t be happening…I’ll find you, boy. Don’t worry.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “Well, at least the sun is back out today,” she thought, “Hey, I know, the newspaper! There’s got to be some kind of explanation in there.” Vivian ran downstairs and jumped the last flight of steps before making her way to the kitchen. As she rushed through the doorway, she saw a stranger sitting at the kitchen table waiting for her. The same stranger from yesterday. “Good morning, Mistress Thorne.”

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I am looking for someone with experience in the publishing world that could: analyze my work, help me find a literary agent, or guide me on my path to being traditionally published.

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