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12 Simple tricks to Success

12 simple Tricks to Success – Part 8

This is the Eighth blog of a series, “12 Simple tricks to Success” from Findamentror.com. We reveal one trick each month for you to read and practice so that in 12 months you’ll have developed some habits that can expedite your success. Enjoy!

Just like every trade and profession has its’, “tricks of the trade”, all very successful people have 12 tricks they do, no matter what industry or institution they work in. They do those things consistently. They are important processes that great and successful people follow.

12-simple-Tricks--to-Success---Part-8

12-simple-Tricks–to-Success—Part-8

Trick number Eight:

Develop Healthy Communication Skills

. . . including self-awareness, speaking from “I” point of view, listening,
clarifying, and paraphrasing.

Effectively communicating with others is one of our most difficult challenges as humans. Early in the history of human communication, people made pictures on rock to communicate or commemorate events in their lives. Over many thousands of years, humans evolved combinations of pictures that were less like representations of physical things and more like symbols of ideas.

These eventually turned into the world’s alphabets, as we know them today. Language in all its forms is a tool for communicating with others in order to influence them, learn from them, or share with them.

Today, there is not only language, but also many theories about how to use it effectively. In business and personal relationships we can use a number of well-known techniques to increase the effectiveness of our communications. I recommend to anyone wanting to enhance their communication skills to take communication workshops. These allow us a little time to practice with others, but more importantly they show us how that practice may be continued in everyday life.

When seeking a communication workshop, make sure it offers the following techniques as part of the curriculum:

self-awareness, speaking from the “I” point of view, clarifying, paraphrasing, and, most important, listening.

Communication begins with the self. “Becoming self-aware” involves learning to ask why whatever we’ve heard, tasted, smelled, or touched has caused us to think and feel in certain ways. It’s about questioning our thoughts, feelings, intentions, and actions. When we become self-aware, we are able to more clearly communicate with others about who we are at any given moment.

Speaking from the “I” point of view means acknowledging that what I feel may not be the same as what you feel. In our society we often speak from a “you” point of view. Consider, for example, the difference between this statement, “You know how you feel when someone steals from you,” and this one: “When someone steals from me I feel invaded.” The second is more clear and direct. It owns the thoughts and feeling and does not project it on the other person.

Speaking from the “I” point of view offers a clear way of sharing what we are experiencing without assuming that another is thinking or feeling the same thing. It is a pattern of speaking that encourages us to take responsibility for our own thoughts and feelings. In a workshop, you will learn the different ways of speaking from the ‘I’ point of view.

Paraphrasing and clarifying refer to repeating in our own words what we think another has said. It’s about getting clearer and can be about asking for additional information. Their purpose is to confirm or expand our understanding of what someone has said, which leads to more effective communicating.

They are particularly useful when we’re disagreeing with someone, having difficulty understanding, or wanting to let another person know that we understand.

In these situations, we can try beginning more of our sentences with, “What I hear you saying is . . .” Then ask; Am I correct? It’s amazing how often we misinterpret others’ words.

Effective listening is a skill that takes continual practice. Often while others are speaking, we turn our thoughts to what our response will be. Doing this interferes with true listening and may negatively affect an interaction because we haven’t heard everything that’s been said.

The more we listen, the more we hear, and the more informed we are before we speak. God gave us two ears and one mouth as a hint that we can listen twice as much as we speak. Take the hint. Listen more than you speak and you will have greater opportunity for learning.

Communicating effectively requires much practice. At first the new ways of speaking may feel awkward, but as we practice more, our speech becomes more natural and our communication with others becomes more effective. Some develop new habits quicker than others but we can all develop new habits.

Learning a new habit can be time-consuming. It took about five years for some of the communication skills I learned to become habitual. Fifteen years later I still catch myself speaking less than effectively at times. Be patient with yourself, but don’t procrastinate. The longer you put off learning effective communication skills and making them a habit in your life, the longer it will take to grow your networks and achieve your goals.

FindAMentor.com

12 Simple tricks to Success

12 simple Tricks to Success – Part 4

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12-simple-tricks-to-success-part-4

Trick number four:

“Build your networks wisely.”
. . . Find mentors, Coaches and Key Advisers.

The people we associate with, personally and professionally, become part of our network and affect our success rate. Each of us has a unique set of friends, associates and colleagues.

Our networks can help us advance or hold us back. When our networks expand, our careers build. When our networks stagnate, our careers stagnate. Networking has the potential to greatly determine how much opportunity we encounter.

Building our networks involves meeting as many people as we can. This was easier in sales careers than others in the past, and as a result, the sales profession created more millionaires than other professions. It’s different now.

Social media and the internet has changed the world and expanded opportunity. Regardless of our career choice, we have many opportunities for creating and expanding our networks and our careers.

Aside from going the extra mile at work (which helps influence networks positively), we can go the extra mile in building networks — work and personal. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pintrest, Youtube, LinkedIn and other social media sites can generate many new contacts. Signing up to blogs, email lists and listening to podcasts can help us too.

Don’t forget the personal face-to-face networking options though. They are very important. We can become involved in school functions with our children, corporate sports teams, community associations, chambers of commerce, or adult education courses. There are many options, personal and online, but remember — it’s up to each individual to follow through on them. You are the only person who can build your network.

Although each person’s network is unique, everyone’s network would benefit from the addition of a few key advisers. First and foremost are good mentors — people we can trust and talk too openly and who have expertise in an area of life we are working in or have a passion for. Mentors can save us much time in the world of trial and error.

Being part of mastermind groups is also key to positive networking and success. “When two or more people come together in common focus, a third invisible intangible force is created likened to A THIRD MIND.” …Napoleon Hill. Get the third mind working for you. Everyone is part of different mastermind groups. Masterminding is an expansion of the peer mentoring concept and can take different forms.

When a mentor and mentee come together to help the mentee, a mastermind group is formed. When two or more mentees work together to bounce ideas between them, with a focus on improvement for each other, they are masterminding. Work teams are mastermind groups: A sales team is a mastermind group focused on increasing sales. An accounting team is a mastermind group focused on tracking funds. Often, work mastermind teams could benefit with more focus on goals and communication structure. Hiring a coach to facilitate might help your work mastermind teams be more effective.

Even families are a type of mastermind group. They typically focus on maintenance and expansion of love.

Get the third minds working for you! Make sure members in your mastermind groups are on the same page — that they are clear on goals and progress for the group, and the goals for individuals in the group. Set a schedule for meetings and keep to it. Even if one member can’t make it to a meeting, do the meeting with who can.

It’s a good idea to acquire two additional network components. When I was starting my cellular phone business, a mentor told me to make sure I had good advisers for legal and accounting processes. Especially when we are self-employed, but even if we are not, having a good lawyer and accountant keep us safe and informed on legal and tax matters.

If we are determined to proceed on the path to success, we will without doubt need accounting and legal advice at some point—whether we’re buying a house, doing our taxes, or closing a deal on a corporate merger. As our wealth builds, good accountants and lawyers become more important.

I think it’s important to have a couple communications mentors. Communicating is something most people could become better at. I’ve found, when I survey employees for companies, it’s the most identified issue for improvement in businesses.

When we are faced with crucial conversations and difficult circumstance, how we communicate is very important. I will often make a phone call to a communications expert before I tackle a tough situation or conversation with others. I encourage those I coach to do the same.

Another key adviser might be a good psychologist. There are many obstacles on the path to success — career setbacks, emotional struggles, and self-doubt to name a few. A psychologist can help us deal with complicated emotional processes during difficult periods. Psychologists are expensive, however, so if funds are unavailable, we can seek a life process mentor—a compassionate friend or advisor whom we trust enough to share the intimate details of our life. Typically, this is someone we respect and admire, and he or she will have experienced the same situation or issue we are experiencing in our life.

Be careful with life process mentors and psychologists. We don’t want one that will enable us, and allow us to stay stuck in our past emotional traps and dysfunction, justifying our inability to move forward. We want to acknowledge our dysfunction and get tools to move through it, over it, under it, or around it when it triggers. Progress is what matters if we want to grow into all that we can be.

For successful people, the process of building networks continually shifts. People in our network can play different roles at different times. When I was deciding to move my cellular phone business to a larger store, I hired one of my mentors as a consultant/coach to help me complete a business plan and hire sales people. He coached me on what to say to the bank in order to get financing and on how to interview prospective personnel. In essence, he coached me on making decisions, like he always had as a mentor. During this period, the relationship was similar but intensified because I was paying him for a specific purpose. Mentoring is free, coaching is done for a fee. Later the relationship shifted to one of peer mentoring.

For successful people the process of building networks seldom stops. They understand that the more people they know, the more advice they will receive, the more sales they will make and the more fun they will have. If they can think of one or two people they’d like to adopt as mentors or peer mentors, they adopt them. We can do the same.

We do not have to accept everything our mentors, accountant, lawyer or psychologist says as the absolute truth, but we can listen and decide what is best for our situation. The more opinions we collect from people we trust, the more options we become aware of, and the easier it becomes to make decisions. We can save ourselves a great deal of time and hardship by listening to capable people whom we trust to have our best interest in mind.

Go out and build your network. Shift it where it needs to be shifted. Be open. Be confident and grow.

Have a great day.

Thanks for reading.

12 Simple tricks to Success

12 simple Tricks to Success – Part 2

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This is the second blog of a series, “12 Simple tricks to Success” from Findamentror.com. We reveal one trick each month for you to complete and/or practice so that in 12 months you’ll have developed some habits that can expedite your success. Enjoy!

simple-tricks-to-success---part-2

If you read trick number one, all your goals are written or typed. The big ones, small ones and in between ones. The career goals and the personal. You know what you want. Now you can begin to make trick number two a habit:

Go an Extra Mile
. . . and achieve your goals

In everything we do, we can go an extra mile. It is a choice. We can do more than is expected of us.

 

Og Mandino, in his book The Greatest Miracle in the World, wrote a God Memorandum that explains how each of us can be a great miracle in the world. The rule for achievement written in the God memorandum is, “GO ANOTHER MILE.”

When we do more than others expect of us, we get noticed and appreciated. At work, this often means we have first crack at opportunities for advancement. When hiring or promoting, management often considers employees’ ability to do more than is expected.

When we go the extra mile at work, our services become more valuable and we can eventually negotiate better salary, benefits and promotions. Our co-workers appreciate us more when we help them unexpectedly, and co-operation is enhanced. Start now, whether you like your job or not, exceed your employers, co-workers and customer expectations. If your employer doesn’t notice, someone else eventually will and opportunity will present itself when you least expect it.

Here are some examples of going the extra mile at work:

  • When our tasks are complete, we could help someone else complete theirs. The number one fail statement I have heard in a work environment is “That’s not in my job description.” When we refuse to do extra, we reject extra success.
  • We could learn a co-workers job so we could cover when they are away.
  • We could make sure we understand customer expectations by asking and clarifying, and then exceed those expectations. In every job we do, we serve customers of some type. Some people’s customers at work are internal customers. For example, the accountant serves the owner, co-workers, bankers and the tax man. The owners and department managers rely on the accountant’s accurate reports so they can make wise decisions that affect the health of the company or organization. When the accountant gives more information than expected with timely reporting, he or she is noticed and appreciated.

 

Continually ask yourself as a worker, “Am I doing more than is expected of me?” Your career will take off. Continually ask yourself as an employer, “Am I doing more for my employees than is expected of me?” Your company will attract dedicated, hard-working employees who will in turn, attract loyal customers.

I have a client whose mission is to exceed customer expectations 100% of the time. The whole company team works at the objective and they continue to be the leader in their industry in their geographical area.

Outside of work, there are many ways to go the extra mile and many benefits that come from it:

  • Going the extra mile with compassion, empathy and understanding in a relationship allows both people to trust each other more. Each person receives a greater degree of honesty and intimacy, and our relationships become healthier.
  • You could bring home a gift for your spouse when it isn’t expected.
  • Going the extra mile by re-negotiating an agreement that can’t be met before the deadline, rather than breaking it, shows the other person respect. And most often the respect is returned.
  • Going the extra mile by paying for the person’s order behind you in a drive-thru line triggers positive feelings in many — the person behind you, yourself, and in many of the workers in the place of business you are at.

Going the extra mile triggers positive emotion in others and in me. Positive emotion attracts more positive emotion, which attracts success.

Sometimes going the extra mile is about perseverance. When I miss making a sale, for example, going the extra mile can be achieved by making more sales calls until I reach my goal.

When I’m working on a project at home and things take longer than expected and I persevere to finish, I feel good about myself and my confidence builds.

Going the extra mile builds success habits and triggers success emotions like joy, patience, confidence, love, peace, determination, etc. People are creatures of habit. When we habitually feel these positive emotions because of doing more than is expected, we attract situations where we receive more than we expect.

The payback comes. It’s the law of attraction. You’ve probably heard of “bad” Karma, which sees our “bad” feelings and actions return to us. But there is “good” Karma, which rewards positive feelings and actions in equal fashion.

If we aren’t directly acknowledged for going another mile, we needn’t fear that we aren’t being noticed. We are — not necessarily by those we thought would notice, but certainly by those truly interested in someone who desires success.

When the habit of going the extra mile is built into our DNA through determination, patience, persistence, perseverance, and with a sense of freely giving, we become more successful in every aspect of life. Just do it. Go the extra mile in everything you do, whenever you think of it.

Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day doing more than is expected of you. Make it a habit starting this month.

FindAMentor.com

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If You Want Your Life to Change, Get Better at Masterminding!

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masterminding

Masterminding

I first learnt about masterminding reading Napoleon Hill’s books. He wrote many books on the subject of being successful and growing rich. Basic success principles haven’t changed for thousands of years. Hill interviewed thousands of the world’s most powerful and influential people throughout most of the 1900’s — Ford, Churchill, Gandhi, Bell, Edison, Roosevelt, Carnegie, etc. Writing about success was his life’s mission. In every book he devoted an entire chapter to the masterminding principle. He said everyone he interviewed told him they owed much of their success to the mastermind principle.

Great men and women around the world use masterminding principles in their daily life — always have. They build incredible networks where they source information to help them make wise decisions. Ask any successful person and they will confirm that their accomplishments happen as a result of using strong teams and implementing ideas from other people.

Using other people’s money is one way of getting help from others. It’s involves using a finance mastermind group for the business. One of Canada’s billionaires (Ted Rogers) once told me in a luncheon that he would borrow as much as people would lend him as long as he could cash flow the commitment. If they’ll lend him a million, he’ll take it. If they want to lend him a billion, he’ll take it, to help him achieve his goals. He used masterminds in every part of his business and made sure his people kept them effective. His team of vice presidents was the lead mastermind group and they coordinated the successful business culture through the many down-line mastermind groups.

Watch this video to learn more about Masterminding and peer mentoring:

In business, an accounting team is a mastermind, a sales team is a mastermind, a production team is a mastermind, etc. The leaders of these teams come together to form another senior management mastermind. There are four critical and simple masterminds to establish in any business that will assure success in almost any economy:

1. A mastermind group focused on happy customers.

2. A mastermind group focused on happy employees.

3. A mastermind group focused on happy suppliers.

4. A mastermind group focused on leading the above three groups to keep the shareholders happy.

It’s a four win situation and great success tool. In smaller companies, the mastermind groups may be smaller and some of the members may not be employees. An accountant, lawyer or business coach may participate in some small company mastermind groups.

In very small companies and start-ups the mastermind groups have to be assembled in the form of mentors, and/or service providers you might contract too, or buy from. We want to mastermind with people who don’t necessarily work for our company full time, or at all, in a start-up or very small business environment.

I started a cellular phone business in the late 1980’s from the trunk of my car and built it to three stores and 3 million in annual sales over a nine year period. At first I was working by myself with service providers to back me up. The service providers became part of my mastermind group for customer service. It enabled me to use the word ‘we’ when talking to customers about exceptional customer service, even though I was a one-man business at the time.

A very important word to consider using when talking to customers, suppliers or colleagues is ‘we’. A mentor once told me to always use the word, ‘we’, when talking to customers, even though I was a sole proprietor at the time. Using the word ‘we’ gives the large customers confidence they are dealing with a team that can meet their service requirements.

No-one accomplishes a major goal in life without the help of others. Success is a ‘we’ situation. Using the word ‘I’ is not inclusive of the team needed to service a customer or supplier, even if that team is not employed directly by my company. ‘I’ can be interpreted as egotistical expression — turning customers off. ‘We’ is accurate. If we’re selling a product, we bought the product from someone so it’s the manufacturer and my company providing the product and service. It’s not ‘I’, it’s ‘we.

Where do we find the people so we can assemble our mastermind groups for a start-up company? When building the cellular phone business, I had a minimum of four mentors to call to discuss challenges with. I would call different mentors for different challenges. I was very fortunate to have many mentors by the time I started my own business. Past managers, co-workers, suppliers and customers who I established relationships with while working for other companies became friends and mentors throughout my career. My mentoring network continues to grow vertically— more mentors and mentees.

I use mentors and mastermind groups for important aspects of my life. I have communication masterminds I consult with to keep my communication skills honed. I have spirituality masterminds I consult with to help maintain my integrity. I have business masterminds to help keep me successful. I see my family as a mastermind group for healthy loving. I see my network of friends as a mastermind group to keep my life balanced between work and fun.

Mastermind groups can be utilized in different formats. In a business the most common format is a face-to-face meeting. In a very small business the most common format is by contacting at least four different mentors on the phone in separate conversations, or in separate meetings. I talk to at least four guys about current issue or challenges. After listening to each, I decide which information is right for me to use, and act accordingly. In all cases masterminding uses more than one mind to discover and evaluate options and help make wise decisions.

Two minds are better than one, but what is the ideal group size for accomplishing goals? A mentor once shared with me what he called a ‘channelled from above’ idea on masterminding: “Four wise men close and two distant make up the nucleus of your mastermind. One of the four is two.” I was 17 when he shared it with me and I had read 3 of Napoleon Hills books by that time so I knew exactly what he meant by mastermind.

From the beginning of my work career I’ve watched and evaluated effectiveness of groups focused on objectives. The most successful teams I’ve been on, and witnessed, used the channelled mastermind formula. “Four wise men close and two distant make up the nucleus of your mastermind. One of the four is two.” ‘One of the four is two’ means to me that it’s best to have someone who can play devil’s advocate in the group — seeing both the positive an negative consequences of each idea. An effective mastermind group includes a participant that can explain two sides of any story.

‘Two wise men distant’ can mean having two members of the mastermind group that are not always present at the meetings but hear about the agenda and offer input through one of the four close members. An accountant or lawyer might be two distant members of a business mastermind group. Mentors of primary, ‘close’ mastermind group members might be the two distant members of a mastermind group.

In all cases, when I see four strong members in a business mastermind group I see success. In the early part of my sales career I was part of a four person sales team. We were all very young and inexperienced in the industrial rental equipment field and had just gone through a huge economic downturn. We were also starting an aviation rental business. The company we were working for fired their entire sales team and hired a new young sales force. All of us were under thirty and closer to 25 years old. Every night of the week this team met with our sales manager and each member discussed our entire day’s activity. We masterminded our sales process with the team every day. We all learnt from each other what the best words to use, or approach to take, would be with different types of people and different companies. I received raises every six months because of performance. Sales grew 30% year over year for 3 years until I left for another opportunity. I was sales manager of a large industrial rental company selling to large plants and construction companies at 27. At 28 I started a cellular phone business.

We used the channelled mastermind formula to help build the cellular phone business. I’ve been doing business consulting and coaching for 15 years now and we help customers build and adjust their mastermind groups using the same formula.

Your success will relate directly to how effective your mastermind groups are. Life and business is a team effort. Masterminding is happening in your life whether you like it or not. Are you directing it to your satisfaction? Are your outcomes what you want? Remember the definition of insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” If you want your life to change and get better, get better at masterminding.

To get better at masterminding, you have to become a great communicator. Look for our next blog post on being a great communicator — communicating from the HIP (Human Interaction Process). Sign up to our newsletter below to receive posts directly in to your mailbox.