Tag Archives: Find a mentor

Don’t make New Year’s resolutions!

Don’t make New Year’s resolutions!

If you are not 100% sure you are going to keep all of your new year’s resolutions and see them through to completion, don’t make them. Don’t build on unsuccessful habits.

When we achieve our goals our confidence and belief grows and we build on, and develop, success habits. When we don’t hit our target or get close to it, we build on unsuccessful thought and emotion habits.

Don't Make New Year Resolution
I want you to build the habit of winning and succeeding and achieving the things you want in your life. Make commitments to things that drive you. That you won’t give up on, no matter what. If you have that strong desire to make something happen for you in 2017, commit to it and “never, never, never, never — give in,” said Churchill. If you want to call it a resolution, do so. But only commit to goals that you are willing to do whatever it takes, to achieve them. To keep it simple try making only one key resolution this year. Commit to it.

Write it down. Tell someone else about it, but only the people you trust will support you. Report your progress to them consistently, until you achieve it. Tell a mentor or mastermind partner. You don’t have to tell anyone else, and sometimes when we tell the wrong people about our goals they discourage us and feed us doubt. Don’t let yourself build doubting Thomas habits. Don’t tell those people about your New Year’s resolution or any other goal.

It’s important to have a comrade when you are committing to any important goal. Someone you can send weekly progress reports to and discuss. Dr. Gail Matthews of Dominican University did a goal writing and commitment study. She noted when those people who wrote their goals down and reported weekly to a colleague that the, “positive effect of accountability was supported: those who sent weekly progress reports to their friend accomplished significantly more than those who had unwritten goals, wrote their goals, formulated action commitments or sent those action commitments to a friend.” In fact, those who didn’t write goals down achieved less than ½ of those who did. Which half of the population do you want to be in. Those who succeed or those who don’t. Both are habits. Choose your habits wisely. Use the tools we give you at FindAMentor.com to help you build success habits.

If you want to be in the crowd of achieving significantly more than others, write your goals down and report your progress weekly to a supportive friend, mentor, or mastermind partner. Develop this habit for all of your goals and you will be amazed at the outcome and yourself.

Have a great 2017. Go out make it an awesome year by developing some awesome success habits.

Thanks for reading.
Mike Garska, President, FindAMentor.com

Enjoy the 3 gifts of Christmas sharing!

Hi Everybody,
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from FindAMentor.

Enjoy the 3 gifts of Christmas sharing this holiday season with your family and all of your mentors — your family mentors, your friend mentors, your co-worker mentors.

Thank you for being a part of the EPIC Mentor Network at FindAMentor.com. Thank you for being a mentor if you are one of our mentors. Thank you for being a mentee if you are one of our mentees. Thank you to our masterminding members. I hope all of you are enjoying the gift of sharing knowledge and experiences.

I want to take this opportunity to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and to remind you to take advantage of the 3 gifts of Christmas.

Gift 1. The joy of giving. Enjoy it. Be present in it. It’s a gift in itself.

Gift 2. The joy of receiving and feeling gratitude. Don’t miss this wonderful opportunity to feel gratitude and share it often this season. Share your gratitude with your co-workers. Thank them for everything they’ve helped you with this past year. Take the time to think of at least one thing to thank your co-workers for this holiday season.
All of our co-workers can be utilized as a mentor in some way. Remember, with some people we can learn what to do and from some we learn what not to do. We can learn something from everyone. Be grateful. Be genuine. Thank someone you haven’t thanked before.
I think of all my family members as mentors in some aspects of life. Remember there is no one mentor we want to be exactly like. Learn to adopt the good characteristics that you like about your family and friends. Take the opportunity to share gratitude with them this holiday season for the good parts of them you learned from. Just do it. Thank them.

Gift 3. The joy of presence. It’s cool that presence can be a present. Sometimes all we have to give is our presence and the love we feel. There’s joy in giving love. Be extra present to everyone this season, especially the people you love dearly.

Ask questions genuinely, listen closely and let the internal chatter go for a moment and try to invoke some empathy. Feel them. They’ll appreciate it and you will experience the gift of listening and hearing. When you give the gift of authentic presence and empathy, you get bonus gifts of experiencing listening, hearing and learning.

Cheers. Have a wonderful holiday season.
Mike Garska and the team at FindAMentor.com

The 7 steps to Find Your Passion and Purpose in Life

So you can love how you live and love what you do…
1. Listen to your inner self. Write down your longings and discontents.

  • What are your longings? Write them down.
  • What are your discontents? Write them down. Marry Morrissey says your longings and your discontents are messages from the universe to your authentic self.

2. Write down everything you love about life.
3. Write down your goals that you can think of right now.

  • Short term goals.
  • Long term goals

4. Decide which goals, longings and discontents give you the strongest feeling inside. Think of pride, desire, love, confidence, passion, drive.
5. Make a decision about the one passion or love in your life that runs deepest, and is inclusive of some of the others, and think of a simple 3 to 7 word statement that can define a purpose for you. Your purpose is the best way for you to offer service in this life. People are on this planet to serve in some way. We all do it. Align your purpose and passion with service. Think of a service you can offer others that can fully, or at least somewhat, align with your purpose right now. Act on it. Some examples of purpose for people I know are:

  • I bring people together.
  • I make music.
  • I make art.
  • I help people find purpose.
  • I bring health into people’s lives.

6. Do something that activates your mind and actions so you can learn more about your passion and purpose and become an expert over time. Go to school or get some work experience in a field that aligns with your purpose. Start right now, no matter your age. It will be fulfilling and rewarding to your authentic self and you will be rewarded in many ways over time. Start now!

  • Enroll in some training on-line or get into a school that offers courses on the service that aligns with your purpose.
  • Get a job, even if it’s at the bottom of the ladder, with a company where you can learn the ins and outs of the business where your purpose can be brought out in some type of service. Living your purpose means building a strong self serving in some way even if it’s being a part of a greater service. People have started out as janitors or mail room clerks and moved up to become the leaders of the company because they had a passion for the service that the company they worked in, provided. Their job, in some small way, aligned with a purpose and a desire to serve with the purpose in mind.

7. Begin now to fulfill your passions and work with your purpose using mentors and mastermind partners. Join the FindAMentor lifelong learning EPIC Mentor Network and find a mentor for free in a category that aligns with your passion. Use the FindAMentor.com unique feature to build a mastermind group in that category. Check other mentoring sites. FindAMentor.com lists many in their mentor websites and resources page.
You might want to watch our FindAMentor, free for members, People Tune Up life coaching video series to get you pointed in the right direction for your thought and emotional processing.
Thank you for reading.
Mike Garska,
President, FindAMentor
People Tune Up, Login

12 simple Tricks to Success – Part 8

This is the Eighth blog of a series, “12 Simple tricks to Success” from Findamentror.com. We reveal one trick each month for you to read and practice so that in 12 months you’ll have developed some habits that can expedite your success. Enjoy!

Just like every trade and profession has its’, “tricks of the trade”, all very successful people have 12 tricks they do, no matter what industry or institution they work in. They do those things consistently. They are important processes that great and successful people follow.

12-simple-Tricks--to-Success---Part-8

12-simple-Tricks–to-Success—Part-8

Trick number Eight:

Develop Healthy Communication Skills

. . . including self-awareness, speaking from “I” point of view, listening,
clarifying, and paraphrasing.

Effectively communicating with others is one of our most difficult challenges as humans. Early in the history of human communication, people made pictures on rock to communicate or commemorate events in their lives. Over many thousands of years, humans evolved combinations of pictures that were less like representations of physical things and more like symbols of ideas.

These eventually turned into the world’s alphabets, as we know them today. Language in all its forms is a tool for communicating with others in order to influence them, learn from them, or share with them.

Today, there is not only language, but also many theories about how to use it effectively. In business and personal relationships we can use a number of well-known techniques to increase the effectiveness of our communications. I recommend to anyone wanting to enhance their communication skills to take communication workshops. These allow us a little time to practice with others, but more importantly they show us how that practice may be continued in everyday life.

When seeking a communication workshop, make sure it offers the following techniques as part of the curriculum:

self-awareness, speaking from the “I” point of view, clarifying, paraphrasing, and, most important, listening.

Communication begins with the self. “Becoming self-aware” involves learning to ask why whatever we’ve heard, tasted, smelled, or touched has caused us to think and feel in certain ways. It’s about questioning our thoughts, feelings, intentions, and actions. When we become self-aware, we are able to more clearly communicate with others about who we are at any given moment.

Speaking from the “I” point of view means acknowledging that what I feel may not be the same as what you feel. In our society we often speak from a “you” point of view. Consider, for example, the difference between this statement, “You know how you feel when someone steals from you,” and this one: “When someone steals from me I feel invaded.” The second is more clear and direct. It owns the thoughts and feeling and does not project it on the other person.

Speaking from the “I” point of view offers a clear way of sharing what we are experiencing without assuming that another is thinking or feeling the same thing. It is a pattern of speaking that encourages us to take responsibility for our own thoughts and feelings. In a workshop, you will learn the different ways of speaking from the ‘I’ point of view.

Paraphrasing and clarifying refer to repeating in our own words what we think another has said. It’s about getting clearer and can be about asking for additional information. Their purpose is to confirm or expand our understanding of what someone has said, which leads to more effective communicating.

They are particularly useful when we’re disagreeing with someone, having difficulty understanding, or wanting to let another person know that we understand.

In these situations, we can try beginning more of our sentences with, “What I hear you saying is . . .” Then ask; Am I correct? It’s amazing how often we misinterpret others’ words.

Effective listening is a skill that takes continual practice. Often while others are speaking, we turn our thoughts to what our response will be. Doing this interferes with true listening and may negatively affect an interaction because we haven’t heard everything that’s been said.

The more we listen, the more we hear, and the more informed we are before we speak. God gave us two ears and one mouth as a hint that we can listen twice as much as we speak. Take the hint. Listen more than you speak and you will have greater opportunity for learning.

Communicating effectively requires much practice. At first the new ways of speaking may feel awkward, but as we practice more, our speech becomes more natural and our communication with others becomes more effective. Some develop new habits quicker than others but we can all develop new habits.

Learning a new habit can be time-consuming. It took about five years for some of the communication skills I learned to become habitual. Fifteen years later I still catch myself speaking less than effectively at times. Be patient with yourself, but don’t procrastinate. The longer you put off learning effective communication skills and making them a habit in your life, the longer it will take to grow your networks and achieve your goals.

FindAMentor.com

12 simple Tricks to Success – Part 3

This is the third blog post of a series, “12 Simple tricks to Success” from Findamentror.com. We reveal one trick each month for you to read and practice so that in 12 months you’ll have developed some habits that can expedite your success. Enjoy!

12-simple-tricks-to-success-part-3

Just like every trade and profession has its’, “tricks of the trade”, all very successful people have 12 tricks they do, no matter what industry or institution they work in. They do those things consistently. They are important processes that great and successful people follow.

Trick number three:

Keep your agreements — spoken and unspoken.

. . . Do what you say you will and re-negotiate when you can’t.

As a businessman, I discovered early the most successful people are reliable in almost every aspect of life and they keep their agreements.

I also discovered early that many people break small agreements often enough to condemn themselves to mediocrity. Many feel that seemingly small agreements can be broken because they’re unimportant. They believe that being late for a meeting won’t hurt anyone or that a client won’t really mind if a call isn’t returned exactly when promised or that a project may be late but it won’t ambush anyone else’s plans. They say to themselves ‘the consequences will be small and everyone can handle them.

The consequence of breaking small agreements is eventually loss of trust, respect and opportunity. It brings upon us a habit of unreliability. Each of these losses writes the label of mediocrity larger and larger on us as we go through life. Other people are chosen for important projects, promotions are not offered to us, opportunities are presented to those that show capability of excelling, not those who are doing an ‘okay’ or a ‘good enough’ job.

Managers, co-workers and peers may say, “He’s a pretty good worker” or “She’s usually on time” or “He always gets the job done — not always on time, but so what?” Many might perceive these statements as nice compliments, but consider the difference between “He does a good job” and “Her work is exceptional.” Who would you want on your team? Do you want be part of a pretty good team, or do you want to be part of an exceptional one?

Most people are good workers. They do their jobs and will be employed. Many of us want to stand out and to be considered leaders. But despite the desire of many to stand out and lead, few people excel in their careers. Those who do, go the extra mile often and especially when it comes to keeping their agreements and re-negotiating when they can’t. All agreements matter. When we keep them, they build trust and honesty.

The old saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” comes from experiencing a common situation: an inability to follow through with promises. A key part of human interaction is trust, and a key part of building trust involves keeping our agreements, even the little ones and unspoken ones.

As humans interact with other humans, agreements are made. Some of them are written, some are spoken, and some are unspoken. A common spoken agreement is, “I’ll have that done by tomorrow for sure.” Common unspoken agreements are, “When I speak, I am telling you the truth.” Or “I’ll be on time for work.”

Every time I break an agreement with another person, a layer of trust is stripped away because expectations are not met. When we are late for work or a meeting, we can call and let someone know that we will arrive at a different time. Re-negotiating helps maintain trust and manages expectations.

 

Sometimes we make agreements quickly without thinking things through and we regret the decision. In that situation, we can create an opportunity to renegotiate. Sometimes this is embarrassing. Pushing through embarrassment to be honest and renegotiate an agreement is critical to success.

I believe that our willingness and courage to be honest is intimately linked to our ability to keep agreements, communicate effectively and be successful. When we are not honest, we attract dishonesty. A spiral of dishonesty begins that interferes with our, and others’ ability to communicate and succeed. Communication often breaks down when people cannot trust us to follow through with agreements or tell the truth — after that, success breaks down to failure.

All of us set limits on how much dishonesty we find personally acceptable. We do it to protect ourselves and to keep ourselves from feeling vulnerable and judged. Sometimes our small dishonesties are even encouraged by society.

But there is usually a greater degree of honesty available to us when we really search within. I may tell myself that my dishonesty falls within the standards acceptable to society and everything is fine. But is it? If we accept that lies attract more lies, it’s easy to see how quickly even a small “untruth” can lead to more lies and eventually a very messy situation.

On the other hand, when I continually challenge myself to be honest and strive to keep all my agreements, I attract honest people and my ability to be honest increases. With practice and compassion, I can make honesty and keeping agreements a rewarding habit.

Spoken and unspoken agreements are part of life. People who keep all their agreements or re-negotiate when they can’t are few and far between. But then, so are successful people. People who succeed in life arrive at meetings on time. They phone when they are late. When they say they will do something for a customer or a co-worker, they do it, or they phone the customer or co-worker and explain why they can’t.

They understand, however, that constant re-negotiation is the same as not doing what they say they will. Re-negotiation has more credibility if it isn’t part of every agreement.

When we keep our agreements, we gain respect and trust. We are viewed as reliable people with integrity. People depend more on us for leadership, advice, troubleshooting, and even friendship. Good management recognizes leaders and rewards them with promotions and raises because it knows that reliable people are the foundation of a successful business.

I built a cellular phone business from the trunk of my car to 3 stores and 3 million in annual sales over a nine year period. When I moved from selling phones from the car trunk to selling them from a small store, the lease agreement was made with a handshake. After we had done all the leasehold improvements and been operating for three months, the landlord said to me, “We better get something in writing here.” Two days later we signed a one-page document.

I had known the landlord for almost five years. I met him when he interviewed me for a job 5 years earlier. I chose not to work with him directly then, but we stayed in touch. He became a mentor and a customer before he was my landlord. The point is that because both of us knew and trusted each other’s commitment to keeping agreements, the business transaction was very smooth, comfortable and allowed for a kind of peace of mind we don’t always find when operating a small business.

These kinds of transactions occurred often for me when building a business because my handshake was considered as good as my signature and my networks include people with the same type of character. People trust me to do what I say I will do. People who keep their agreements tend to associate with other people who keep their agreements.

The benefits of being perceived in this way are not just professional. Co-workers, peers, and friends outside of work need reliable people as much as business.

When we build the habit of keeping agreements into every part of our lives, we will eventually find ourselves surrounded by people who are reliable and help us succeed. We gain the confidence we need to become successful. No great undertaking is achieved by one person. Great people have other great people working with them.

But how do we practice getting better at keeping agreements? It’s difficult if we believe the agreements are insignificant and the consequences are trivial. However, if we accept the opposite, then it becomes easier to practice keeping the promises we’ve made — all of them, even when we’re scared. It’s really very simple: Acknowledge the fact keeping agreements is important to success. Trust your basics intentions to be trustworthy. Commit to integrity. The more we practice, the better we get at it. Eventually keeping agreements becomes a habit and it drives us nuts if we can’t keep one. This is the state of being, successful people reach.

People who keep agreements prefer working with people who are the same. Would you rather work with someone who does what they say, or, with someone who does what they say — some of the time? The choice is clear.

The choice is yours. You can develop the habit of keeping agreements, being honest and being recognized as someone, super reliable or you can be in the habit of renegotiating many agreements. It’s the super reliable people that are most successful. Be one of them. Develop the habits of reliability in every aspect of your life. Be the choice of integrity and attract more integrity.

Have a great day keeping agreements, every day.

Thanks for reading.

FindAMentor.com

If You Want Your Life to Change, Get Better at Masterminding!

masterminding

Masterminding

I first learnt about masterminding reading Napoleon Hill’s books. He wrote many books on the subject of being successful and growing rich. Basic success principles haven’t changed for thousands of years. Hill interviewed thousands of the world’s most powerful and influential people throughout most of the 1900’s — Ford, Churchill, Gandhi, Bell, Edison, Roosevelt, Carnegie, etc. Writing about success was his life’s mission. In every book he devoted an entire chapter to the masterminding principle. He said everyone he interviewed told him they owed much of their success to the mastermind principle.

Great men and women around the world use masterminding principles in their daily life — always have. They build incredible networks where they source information to help them make wise decisions. Ask any successful person and they will confirm that their accomplishments happen as a result of using strong teams and implementing ideas from other people.

Using other people’s money is one way of getting help from others. It’s involves using a finance mastermind group for the business. One of Canada’s billionaires (Ted Rogers) once told me in a luncheon that he would borrow as much as people would lend him as long as he could cash flow the commitment. If they’ll lend him a million, he’ll take it. If they want to lend him a billion, he’ll take it, to help him achieve his goals. He used masterminds in every part of his business and made sure his people kept them effective. His team of vice presidents was the lead mastermind group and they coordinated the successful business culture through the many down-line mastermind groups.

Watch this video to learn more about Masterminding and peer mentoring:

In business, an accounting team is a mastermind, a sales team is a mastermind, a production team is a mastermind, etc. The leaders of these teams come together to form another senior management mastermind. There are four critical and simple masterminds to establish in any business that will assure success in almost any economy:

1. A mastermind group focused on happy customers.

2. A mastermind group focused on happy employees.

3. A mastermind group focused on happy suppliers.

4. A mastermind group focused on leading the above three groups to keep the shareholders happy.

It’s a four win situation and great success tool. In smaller companies, the mastermind groups may be smaller and some of the members may not be employees. An accountant, lawyer or business coach may participate in some small company mastermind groups.

In very small companies and start-ups the mastermind groups have to be assembled in the form of mentors, and/or service providers you might contract too, or buy from. We want to mastermind with people who don’t necessarily work for our company full time, or at all, in a start-up or very small business environment.

I started a cellular phone business in the late 1980’s from the trunk of my car and built it to three stores and 3 million in annual sales over a nine year period. At first I was working by myself with service providers to back me up. The service providers became part of my mastermind group for customer service. It enabled me to use the word ‘we’ when talking to customers about exceptional customer service, even though I was a one-man business at the time.

A very important word to consider using when talking to customers, suppliers or colleagues is ‘we’. A mentor once told me to always use the word, ‘we’, when talking to customers, even though I was a sole proprietor at the time. Using the word ‘we’ gives the large customers confidence they are dealing with a team that can meet their service requirements.

No-one accomplishes a major goal in life without the help of others. Success is a ‘we’ situation. Using the word ‘I’ is not inclusive of the team needed to service a customer or supplier, even if that team is not employed directly by my company. ‘I’ can be interpreted as egotistical expression — turning customers off. ‘We’ is accurate. If we’re selling a product, we bought the product from someone so it’s the manufacturer and my company providing the product and service. It’s not ‘I’, it’s ‘we.

Where do we find the people so we can assemble our mastermind groups for a start-up company? When building the cellular phone business, I had a minimum of four mentors to call to discuss challenges with. I would call different mentors for different challenges. I was very fortunate to have many mentors by the time I started my own business. Past managers, co-workers, suppliers and customers who I established relationships with while working for other companies became friends and mentors throughout my career. My mentoring network continues to grow vertically— more mentors and mentees.

I use mentors and mastermind groups for important aspects of my life. I have communication masterminds I consult with to keep my communication skills honed. I have spirituality masterminds I consult with to help maintain my integrity. I have business masterminds to help keep me successful. I see my family as a mastermind group for healthy loving. I see my network of friends as a mastermind group to keep my life balanced between work and fun.

Mastermind groups can be utilized in different formats. In a business the most common format is a face-to-face meeting. In a very small business the most common format is by contacting at least four different mentors on the phone in separate conversations, or in separate meetings. I talk to at least four guys about current issue or challenges. After listening to each, I decide which information is right for me to use, and act accordingly. In all cases masterminding uses more than one mind to discover and evaluate options and help make wise decisions.

Two minds are better than one, but what is the ideal group size for accomplishing goals? A mentor once shared with me what he called a ‘channelled from above’ idea on masterminding: “Four wise men close and two distant make up the nucleus of your mastermind. One of the four is two.” I was 17 when he shared it with me and I had read 3 of Napoleon Hills books by that time so I knew exactly what he meant by mastermind.

From the beginning of my work career I’ve watched and evaluated effectiveness of groups focused on objectives. The most successful teams I’ve been on, and witnessed, used the channelled mastermind formula. “Four wise men close and two distant make up the nucleus of your mastermind. One of the four is two.” ‘One of the four is two’ means to me that it’s best to have someone who can play devil’s advocate in the group — seeing both the positive an negative consequences of each idea. An effective mastermind group includes a participant that can explain two sides of any story.

‘Two wise men distant’ can mean having two members of the mastermind group that are not always present at the meetings but hear about the agenda and offer input through one of the four close members. An accountant or lawyer might be two distant members of a business mastermind group. Mentors of primary, ‘close’ mastermind group members might be the two distant members of a mastermind group.

In all cases, when I see four strong members in a business mastermind group I see success. In the early part of my sales career I was part of a four person sales team. We were all very young and inexperienced in the industrial rental equipment field and had just gone through a huge economic downturn. We were also starting an aviation rental business. The company we were working for fired their entire sales team and hired a new young sales force. All of us were under thirty and closer to 25 years old. Every night of the week this team met with our sales manager and each member discussed our entire day’s activity. We masterminded our sales process with the team every day. We all learnt from each other what the best words to use, or approach to take, would be with different types of people and different companies. I received raises every six months because of performance. Sales grew 30% year over year for 3 years until I left for another opportunity. I was sales manager of a large industrial rental company selling to large plants and construction companies at 27. At 28 I started a cellular phone business.

We used the channelled mastermind formula to help build the cellular phone business. I’ve been doing business consulting and coaching for 15 years now and we help customers build and adjust their mastermind groups using the same formula.

Your success will relate directly to how effective your mastermind groups are. Life and business is a team effort. Masterminding is happening in your life whether you like it or not. Are you directing it to your satisfaction? Are your outcomes what you want? Remember the definition of insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” If you want your life to change and get better, get better at masterminding.

To get better at masterminding, you have to become a great communicator. Look for our next blog post on being a great communicator — communicating from the HIP (Human Interaction Process). Sign up to our newsletter below to receive posts directly in to your mailbox.

How to find a mentor online

Most of us search the web using ‘how to find a mentor online’, ‘looking for mentor’, ‘need a mentor’, ‘how to get mentor’ and phrases similar to these,  but before deciding your search words,  you must ask yourself why I need a mentor, and what characteristics this mentor should have, or even what mentoring is all about…

Mentoring is a lifelong natural process, we all do to different degrees. When we focus on utilizing mentoring more, we grow and achieve our goals quicker. No matter how smart you are, or how brilliant your business concept might be, or how successful you are in life, every person needs someone who has already been through what you are experiencing right now in life, and he or she has come out the other side armed with invaluable insights. Mentors can help others avoid costly mistakes and gain whole-life knowledge.

The next question is what kind of person you should be looking for and how do you verify that this is the right person that can be my mentor. Mentors are people who think they can offer guidance to others in a particular area of expertise. They have experience and formal knowledge to share so that mentees can be effective, avoid costly mistakes, communicate better, and have more fun.
Watch this 9-minute video on how to find a mentor online or in your community.

Make a list of the characteristics you are looking for in a mentor:

  • What type of experience do you expect them to have?
  • How much experience do they need to have to be my mentor?
  • How old should they be?
  • Should they be male or female?
  • Are they a good communicator in my mind? What does a good communicator look like?
  • Can they build my confidence and help me believe in myself?
  • Can they help me with persistence and perseverance?
  • What is important to me? What qualities do I want my mentor to have?

 

Mentors are people who are really good at a particular aspect of life. That doesn’t mean you want to be exactly like them or that they are really good at all aspects of life. It just means that you want to learn some things from them. You can have many mentors. Having at least 4 mentors for every aspect of life that is important to you is a great idea. Select a person that you think can be your mentor and find a way to start a conversation with them. You could try striking up a conversation, phoning or emailing them.

If it’s someone that you have found online at a mentor search website like http://FindAMentor.com, have them fill out a FindAMentor.com mentor questionnaire. Check their references and place of employment to verify they are who they say they are. After you verify them and when you are comfortable, exchange phone numbers and when possible, meet face to face. Remember About 70% of communication happens through body language and facial expression.  Face-to-face conversation is the most effective type of human interaction and communication. Voice-tone contributes another 10%-20 %. Only 10% of communication or less is through words themselves. The second best way to communicate with a mentor is on the phone or with Skype. Only when  person-to-person and phone interaction is not possible, communicate with email. When communicating with email it helps to state clear emotions and intentions in your writing. Do it.

Masterminding is a great alternative type of mentoring (also called peer mentoring), and can be used until you find the right mature mentor in the field you are searching. It can always be used as a great supplementary mentoring forum as well.

Masterminding is about a group of people working together towards a common purpose.  Napoleon Hills says, “when two or more minds come together for a common goal a third invisible intangible force likened to a third mind is created”. Make use of third minds (mastermind groups). They help. Mastermind groups can be a great tool for individual and team growth. For-example if you want to be a great sales person, then find other people who also want to be a great sales person. Meet with each other on regular bases and discuss a standard agenda. Have each person share the following in a round table type discussion:

  • Last meeting challenges discussed and what did I did to overcome them.
  • This week’s wins.
  • This weeks new challenges.
  • What I want help with.

Remember to give something back. We are all mentors to someone. We exchange life experience with mentees and help them learn from others mistakes so they can avoid the mistakes that were made in the past.

Mentor one more person each year.  I have made a commitment to add one mentee each year from FindAmentor.com. Each mentoring relationship requires different time commitments. When I mentor people, I allow 1 hour per month at first. If a critical situation arises, the mentee can call me anytime.  Later in the mentor/mentee relationship we meet less. I meet with some of my mentors only once a year. Others, once a quarter.  I follow the same rules with my mentees.

Now if you are still reading this, then you have understood the meaning of the mentoring process and it’s more clear to you, what kind of person you are going to find and how you will proceed in finding a mentor or a mastermind group. Let’s start your search by joining us. Remember, you must create your profile as a mentor or mentee in the specific field you are interested in. Good luck with your mentoring initiatives.

Read our “Tools and Tips section” from the top menu, to know more about how mentoring and how our website works.

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Please tell your friends to mentor someone. We have thousands of people looking for mentors. And we can all be a mentor to someone in at least one field of interest.